Welcome




SECRETS
your Vet will never tell
    (for the discerning pet-lover with an undiscerning sense of humour)         
confidential one-on-one counseling sessions


Mission Statement



What this isn't:

This is not where you’re likely to gain a better understanding of your pet's medical conditions.  In fact, I promise you’ll learn very little (next to nothing really) to help identify signs of disease or assist you in administering life-saving techniques on your bull hamster at home. 

What this is:

Simply put, this is a place to celebrate the humour of our furry family members, as seen through the myopic and bespectacled eyes of your local vet. 


That said, comments left, including those soliciting advice on pet health, will find a reply.  It should, however, be clear I’m off-duty, my veterinary surgeon’s cap safely nestled inside its silk-lined hatbox and tucked into my lion-shaped wardrobe, so I’ll very likely be drinking.  I hasten to add, I won’t be drunk – I have two small children and can’t face a bleary-eyed 3 am bed-wetting crisis – but trust my judgement will be adequately clouded.  Therefore, any advice received must be recognized as unfit for purpose and likely to betray the ‘first do no harm’ veterinary oath to which I am forever bound.






* Pet and client names used here are invented.  Stories are a mixture of cases over years in practice and personal experience with my own pets.  No animals were harmed in the making of this blog, though I’ve vaccinated and given other injections (always, I assure you, in your pet's best interest) which may have stung a little.  What I’m saying is no animals have been directly harmed by this blog, though there’s always collateral damage.  Also, MJ Reilly is not my real name (just as James Herriot was not Batman's), though I am a small animal veterinarian and may even be yours.